What Are Your Necessities?
Dear Friends,
I talked last week about how a schedule is “a net for catching days,” a poignant phrase from dear old Annie Dilliard. By using this technique of scheduling my days, hour by hour, I’m finding I have time to do the important things in life like writing…and the other stuff.
Over the past several years I’ve learned that there are other parts of me that need attending to that don’t involve writing but, strangely enough, directly affect my writing practice. These are also my priorities when it comes to scheduling. So, what kinds of things am I talking about?
Again, just like “scheduling,” it’s different for everyone. If I was one of the cool kids, I’d use a breathy voice and say “you discover this by being mindful.” But I’m not one of the cool kids so I’ll say it this way: we find our “necessities” by paying attention to what practices make you feel positive and hopeful and energized, and what don’t. And when you’re doing things that make you feel “all the good feels,” it simply makes life better (including your writing life.)
For me, I’ve got four.
1. Centering time—The Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit mean a lot to me. Actually, they mean the most to me. Therefore, in order for me to face my day with a balanced perspective and at least a smidge of kindness in my heart, I have to spend my first moments of the day meditating on hopeful words, praying through the heavy things bearing down on my heart, and reaffirming for myself that my life and the life of every person I meet has purpose and value. Once I get myself centered on those thoughts, I feel equipped to step out of my Lauffice and take on the world (and get some words on the page.)
2. 5 minutes of silence—If you suffer from anxiety (as I do) or have about 3,467,390 voices in your head at any given moment, critiquing your every move from the way you put your breakfast spoon in the dishwasher to your overuse of “to be” verbs, then let me suggest implementing a daily silence practice. It does a world of good for me when everything gets to be “too much”, which happens every single day at some point. That’s when I pull out my “Five Minutes of Silence” coupon and cash it in. I don’t fill in this practice on my hourly schedule; it presents itself when it’s needed. Today, I took it in the pick-up line at our elementary school while I was waiting for our kindergartener. I left my phone in my purse, turned off the van, switched off the radio, sat there with my eyes closed, and breathed. Five minutes later, I was transformed into Wonder Woman, complete with the armored bustier and red knee-boots. Just kidding. But I did feel a heck of a lot better.
3. Yoga (or other physical movement)—We have six children. Raising them maxed out my physical and emotional credit cards for well over a decade, until I was finally able to pay down the balance and give myself some wiggle room after some much-needed therapy (and major emotional baggage unloading). During that decade (plus a year…or two…or three), I pressed pause on my writing practice. Which means I’m coming to the writing game a little later than some of you. Which also means, if I want to write for another 30 years like Ann Patchett’s been doing (putting myself well into my seventies), I better take care of this body as best I can. So that’s one reason I work out every day. The other is simple: it makes me feel good. No, not always while I’m working out—that depends on the previous night’s sleep and whether I’m feeling bloated. But after I work out? I’m Wonder Woman.
4. Early bedtime/napping—I’m good for a lot less than zero if I’m not properly rested. If I haven’t reached my 7.5-hour daily quota, you can depend on me to cry at least once in the course of the day, to make an impassioned speech outlining the whys and hows of our global community’s imminent demise (usually to our kids), and to write the shittiest portion of my shitty first draft (that’s if I write at all). It isn’t pretty. To ensure that everyone (including myself) is saved from such a humiliating display, every night I aim for a 9pm bedtime, and if circumstances require me to stay up later, you better believe I’m writing “Nap” somewhere on the next day’s schedule. You might be mumbling to yourself right about now, “Good for her; she has time to nap during her day. It must be nice.” I’m not talking about bedding down for the winter here, friends. Sometimes it’s simply letting myself doze off for a few minutes in the pick-up line at school (I’ve managed to capitalize well on that 10 minutes of my day). It doesn’t take much to recharge my engine.
But it takes something.
And that’s it. Those are my “necessities.” I don’t share these to be prescriptive—"Follow these four steps and you’ll discover your best life!” Nope. I only offer this as an encouragement to find out what your “necessities” are. Because we all have them. And if you haven’t been paying attention to them, then there’s a good chance that you aren’t operating at your best, which likely affects your writing practice.
Consider it food for thought. And let me know if and when you discover your own “necessities.” (Maybe even write me a letter;)
Till next week, keep writing.
Maile
